Caught in a Bad Bromance
by Seizure-On-Demand
Summary: The god-like powers of a bored and manipulative fanfiction writer force Ralph and Felix to go on a hideously awkward date together. The product of a silly Tumblr game. Rated K .


Allow me to explain this one. On Tumblr I dared my followers to send me the names of two characters, promising to write a drabble in which I force them to go on a painfully bad and awkward date. One of my followers requested Ralph and Felix, and the rest is history.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Wreck-It Ralph._

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**Caught in a Bad Bromance **

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"So…why are we doing this again?"

Ralph sighed. "I explained this to you already. Some psycho college girl with a keyboard and too much free time said that we _have_ to."

"Ralph…I'm _married_."

"And I don't like you that way. But let's just get this over with, okay?"

The movie theater that Ralph and Felix had just arrived at for their "date" was packed. Luckily the author of this drabble had already provided them with two tickets for the latest chick flick so they wouldn't have to suffer through the indignity of standing together in line where everyone could see them. The date was already painfully awkward enough. As she watched them squirm and try desperately to avoid eye contact with each other, the author cackled manically and continued to type.

"She couldn't have given us tickets to something where stuff blows up?" Ralph grumbled.

"Well, it was nice of her to give us free tickets, though we'll have to pay for food," Felix reminded him, forcing a smile though he was inwardly screaming. He didn't mind when a player controlled his movements during game-play, but now a fanfiction writer had started controlling his _love life…_

They bought snacks and went to find seats in a theater auditorium that was unreasonably cold and dark. Ralph was forced to sit cross-legged on the floor because when theater designers make chairs they never seem to remember the fact that people with larger body masses go to the movies too.

"Hey, down in front!" An angry voice cried a few rows back. "I can't see!"

"Not my problem!" Ralph called back over his shoulder. "Move to a different seat!"

"Move _yourself_, tubby!"

"Come down here and _make me!_ "

"Ralph," Felix pleaded. "Please don't make a scene. Just move a few inches to the left so the gentleman can see the movie."

"Fine. Whatever you say, _honey_." Ralph moved and the man was appeased, but the wrecker (who knew very little about proper movie-going etiquette) continued behaving obnoxiously for the entire course of the movie. He barked with laughter at the wrong moments, spraying bits of popcorn from his mouth, and when someone on screen did something stupid, he was quick to point it out as loudly as possible. And Felix just sat there next to him, with his heads in his hands, hoping that this was just a bad dream, and that he would wake up in his bed at home any second now…

"Time to bring in someone who knows them," the author decided, typing feverishly.

A stubby finger tapped Felix's shoulder. "Excuse me, sir, but could you tell your friend to—FELIX?!"

"Toad?!" Felix exclaimed. "You've been there this whole time?" The mushroom man appeared to be alone. "Where's Peach?"

"The princess is in another theater," Toad explained, and the author congratulated herself for managing to throw in a reference. Toad smirked. "And you're with Ralph. It's so pitch black in here, I couldn't even tell! I never would have guessed that you two were chick flick nuts."

"Well, er, not _exactly_…"

The author briefly inserted herself into the story. "They're on a date," she whispered to Toad, sitting in the seat behind him. Toad abruptly turned around to find the seat empty. Such was the author's mad stealth skills.

"A _date?_" Toad asked after he'd shrugged his shoulders and turned back around, raising a quizzical eyebrow at Felix (though the author wasn't entirely sure if mushroom people even _have_ eyebrows). "Aren't you married?"

"It's a long story," Felix sighed.

"Not as long as this stupid movie," Ralph piped in. "Hi, Toad."

Before the author could come up with an immature joke about how _long _various things were, the movie ended and so did Ralph and Felix's horrifically forced, awkward date. Toad said goodbye to them in the lobby and then raced home to update his Tumblr account and inform all 3 465 of his followers that Ralph and Felix were an item now. And then the author sent Ralph and Felix home on a three-hour train ride, with hundreds of their squealing shippers and fan girls as their travelling companions. She provided no aspirin.

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**The End**

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Please review, and remember that all flames will be used to conquer the North Pole.


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